I'm calling it quits. As of today, the Pop Culture Rodeo blog is no more.
Why? There are lots of reasons. Too many to list, really.
But I'll try and remember them all ...
- The Taliban put a price on my head.
- Hurt my fingers in a panini accident.
- I ran out of things to say.
- Forgot how to type.
- Pop culture is too depressing.
- I’ve taken a vow of Internet celibacy.
- Everything worth saying has already been said (and even the stuff not worth saying was said).
- Need more sleep.
- Twice weekly deadline was too much pressure.
- I want to grow a beard and work on my rap career.
- Time is precious, and writing blogs is for suckers.
- I’ve joined the Amish.
- My doctor wants me to cut back on my cynicism.
- I want to spend more time with my family.
- Restraining order requires my writing to stay at least 50 yards away from Harry Kollatz’s writing.
- Found a better gig with Oprah.
- Quitting to punish the three people who actually read the blog.
- Tired of people laughing when I call myself a part-time blogger.
- Richmond Magazine website needed the extra space.
- NOT writing is much easier.
- Want to get back to work on my Bucket List.
- Eric Cantor was not amused.
- Global warming.
- My true place is among the people, not up here in some ivory blogging tower.
- I’m under investigation, and my lawyer advised me to keep a low profile.
- They don’t allow blogging in rehab.
- Fired by magazine for repeated (and improper) use of the word “ass-monkey.”
- I’m just tired of sharing.
- Realized tha nobody really cares what I think about Snooki.
- Stage-4 carpal-tunnel syndrome.
- I want to devote my full attention to the last four episodes of Breaking Bad.
- Blogging adds 10 pounds.
- My wife says I need to finish painting the bathroom.
- Two words: burning sensation.
- Starting my own blog called, “Positively True Adventures of a Pasty, Whiny 40-Year-Old” (or "Are You There God? It's Me, Pete Humes," I haven't decided yet).
- Training for the 2016 Olympics in Brazil (probably hammer throw).
- Need to get in line early for the last Harry Potter movies.
- The Scorpions want me back in the band.
- My oil-painting hobby has really taken off in an exciting new direction.
- Life is too short to worry about whether Hasselhoff will land on his feet.
- I didn't want to take the pay cut (which would have required me to PAY them).
- Bed bugs.
- Rare syndrome causes me to attack own reflection in computer monitor.
- My ratings were in the toilet.
- It turns out that the magazine can't employ felons.
- Want to improve my street cred by going back to Xerox handouts.
- I knew too much about "The Event."
- Chad Anderson finally discovered that the Polaroids I used to blackmail my way into this gig were Photoshopped.
- I just discovered drugs.
That should be everything.
If you read, thanks for reading. If you didn't ... you probably aren't reading this, either.
See you around.