This might be dangerous, but I'm going to do it anyway.

It's not really a rant, because I'm not that angry. I wouldn't call it a commentary, because my position isn't very well defined. And you won't be finding any deep background research, because it's late and I'm lazy.

But I've got some things in my brain that need to get out. Either I write them down or I keep chewing them into nothing. There is no other option because my wife gets sick of hearing me talk sometimes. So you, the unfortunate few, will feel my lukewarm wrath.

My beef is with downtown. Specifically this Michael Bay-sized arts complex set to open in September. I don't get it. I never have and I'm not sure that I ever will. To be honest, it seems silly and a bit over the top. I know that sounds blasphemous and shallow, and there are a hundred different people with a hundred different reasons who would be happy to tell me why I should feel otherwise ... but that's just how I feel.

And if Oprah taught me anything, it's that feelings count for something.

Let's forget for a moment where the money is coming from, who promised what and how many arts committees it takes to screw in a light bulb. That's all crazy city politics. And I'm dumb, but I'm not dumb enough to pretend I know the first thing about city politics. There are people much smarter than me who aren't afraid to read long documents and make phone calls who can sort that kind of stuff out. Me, I'm just the guy who wants to make fart noises in a crowded elevator.

I think CenterStage is a bad idea.

Downtown doesn't need high culture. Downtown needs more low culture. We need bowling alleys and blues bars and rooftop paintball. We need coffee shops and video arcades and miniature golf.

If you find me a working time machine, I promise I'll go back in time and steal the money raised for CenterStage and spend it on go-kart tracks and outer-space theme bars. Seriously. I wish I was kidding about this, but I just created the downtown of my dreams ... without even really thinking about it. How can dozens of people meet for years and raise millions and come up with just another giant building that 98 percent of Richmond will never enter?

Didn't they do that a couple years earlier with the Convention Center?

Keep in mind I'm not knocking the arts. I love the arts. I've never been to the opera, but I'm sure it's lovely. Classical music? My first album was the soundtrack to The Empire Strikes Back. I love classical music. Dance? Well, you know ... it works for some people. I'm not a fan. But that doesn't mean I think dance should go away. Bring it on! Dance the night away! Jump on top of parked cars like the movie Fame. Knock yourself out.

Just don't expect me to get excited about it.

Look, I've wanted to love downtown for 20 years. Ever since my parents drove me to my VCU dorm room in 1988 and we got on Broad Street from the 5th Street exit. At first, I remember wondering what I'd gotten myself into and why I'd chosen to go to college in a place that looked like Detroit circa 1975. But then I walked around, looked around and got hooked.

Ever since, I've wanted it to thrive and grow and become something great that we can all be proud to call our own. But in 20 years, it hasn't happened. I haven't given up, but I've learned when to get excited and when to say I told you so.

It's been a great couple of years with the opening of The National, the continued success of First Friday and — even though it's not technically downtown — the opening of Movieland on Boulevard. There's plenty to be optimistic about, but even more to be realistic about.

I'd love to be wrong about CenterStage. I'd love for it to pull downtown up by its bootstraps through the power of wind instruments, interpretive dance and almighty arias ...

But I'm putting most of my money on "I told you so."